You don't mess with family....

Hey classy girls! It's been a while, I know, but you all should probably know that 1)I'm literally WEEKS away from finishing college, (yeah!) 2)I'm between jobs, and 3)I'M PLANNING A WEDDING! (shout out to my fiance pip. :D) So, needless to say, I've been pretty busy throughout these past few months. SO happy and exciting things happening! :D Any who, so here is this month's classy girl. Lately I've found that people in my inner circle are being...used. Abused. Emotionally. Physically. Now, those of you who know me, know that if you're in my inner circle, you're considered part of my family. It takes a lot of trust to even begin to let you into my "circle", so again, if you're there, you're in it for a reason. So, I'm guessing that you all have some sort of inner circle, or close group of friends and family that you absolutely could not live without. Am I right? Of course I am. ;) So what do you do when they're being attacked/abused/used/etc? Well, here's the thing: Classy girls NEVER get involved with drama that doesn't have anything to do with them. But here's a faux pax so to speak...if it involves your family, of COURSE it involves you. So here's what you should do: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Now, of course, it's important that you be there for that person, cause chances are you're in THEIR circle as well, and they need someone to listen to them. Offer advice, let them know you're here for them. But DO NOT get all up in the situation like you own it. Not only is it dangerous, but you might not know all the facts and when that happens, YOU usually end up looking like the ass. Classy girls are good friends. Remember that, especially when your family or friends are gettin' all sad and stuff. Love you all! Stay Classy! :D --Heavan!

Classy girls stand TALL, not cower.

Hello Classy Girls! I wanted to write this because a TON of you (boys too) have been asking me what's going on. And I wanted to finally tell you guys what has been going down in my life. Now, I've seen posts on facebook and posting on facebook about my father...but here's what's up. And PLEASE again, don't give him my contact information. DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVE A TEMPER OR KNOW WHERE MY FATHER LIVES, CLICK OFF THIS PAGE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT'S GONNA PISS YOU OFF. My father abused me sexually when I was younger. And I know that he's back in Michigan, and at first that idea scared the snot out of me. I hadn't told my mom yet, and she was really weirded out at the fact that I was so scared that my dad was back in town. Until I told her. Let me tell you, it's been a major healing process over the past few days. God has really done a work in my life and hers and I just wanted you all to know that since I'm a CLASSY girl, I will STAND TALL through all of this. I used to want to be a victim, but I learned today that I am no longer a victim. I am a SURVIVOR. I feel like someone needs to hear this, which is why I'm writing this. God loves you. I've said this numerous times on facebook. His love is so mighty and strong. He loves you the most, and no one can say that about you. NO ONE. He is such a gracious and mighty God. And if you feel like you can't go to him, you can. He's waiting for you with open arms. Ready to say what he said to me the other day: "Stand tall young one, time for redemption will be soon." If you're a victim of sexual assault, there are people there to help you. I encourage you to tell someone as soon as you possibly can. It's not your fault. NOTHING is your fault. You shouldn't feel ashamed. The rape crisis hotline is ALWAYS open, and let me tell you, those people really know how to minister. Their website is www.rapecrisis.com Classy girls STAND TALL. If you need help standing tall, just email me. I'm here. Thanks everyone for reading. You need to know I'm doing well. I don't want or need to play the victim anymore. Please don't feel sorry for me. Until next time. --Heavan

Classy Girls: Daddy Issues and what God has to say about them.

Hey Classy Girls! I hope everyone has been doing well. I myself have not been. Today was a hard day for me, as I dealt with some daddy issues that have been brewing in my system for quite some time. Let me tell you the story really quick. Well, about two years ago, my parents split up. My dad moved to Tennessee, and my mom stayed here. My dad suddenly stopped calling, texting, writing me all of a sudden, and while he hasn't always been the greatest dad in the entire world, I looked forward to hearing from him because I missed him. Fast forward to a couple of days ago, when I got a letter saying he had a brand new family who loved him and adored him--including a brand new stepdaughter named Keely. Now, I've always been a daddy's girl. Like I said, he's never really been the dad I needed him too, but he's mine. And I've always cherished that. However, when he didn't make the effort to save his marriage and the relationship with his children I started to hate him. It felt like I wasn't really important enough to him. And truth: I wasn't. Today, it really got to me. I'm not sure why, but I suddenly felt like I wasn't important enough for anything or anyone. I quickly called up the classiest girl I knew (mommy) and asked her to come home from what she was doing and talk. And while she kept asking me what was wrong, I couldn't find the heart to tell her: Until she made a remark that she saw I got a letter from dad that didn't make me so happy. So I told her. And now here I am writing about my shitty day. Anywho, I got a lot of advice from everyone today, and especially my God. My God is a good man who is jealous and angry God. He loves me for who I am, and even though I don't have an earthly daddy, I have a heavenly daddy. And He's got a love bigger than any human could ever give to me. (Thanks to the other classiest lady I know, period fairy blogger, Jessie Prately--SOON TO BE MULLINS! :) ) Classy girls, God loves you. He knows what you want to do with your life and he wants to be the most supportive, amazing, wonderful and loving father--only if you let him. And let me tell you, it's very classy to let God be your dad. ;) Believe me I've been there. That's all I have to write today. Check out our Twitter, @classygirlsblog <3 Keep it classy.

Classy Girls keep their feelings in check!

Hey Classy Girls! I hope all of you are doing well and that you're keeping everything classy. I know, it's been a while since I've written, but it's been a long few months. I had some pretty bad sicknesses, and I'm working on a bachelor's degree. So needless to stay, blogging hasn't been on my priority list. hahaa. So anywho, this classy girls is about keeping your feelings in check. I recently learned this the hard way, by throwing a tantrum over something so trivial I'm ashamed to even admit what it was. (Those of you who do, shh. :D) Anywho, I made myself look like a complete jackass and it wasn't even my PLACE to get that upset. Needless to say, I didn't keep it classy. As a classy girl, it is important that when you don't agree with someone or something, you voice your opinion in a CLASSY way. You don't throw a fit or get pissy because something doesn't go your way. That is definitely not classy. Now, you might be asking yourself "Heavan, how DO I voice my opinion without being a jerk" well, there might be a situation where voicing your opinion isn't right. There are times where you should just keep your mouth shut because that IS the classy thing to do. Other times when it is your place to voice your opinion, it's important that you don't let your feelings run how you talk to people. Being a ginger, that's very hard for me sometimes. I will tell you, sometimes I feel like I can't control my mouth. But hey, you should know that if you just take the time to breathe, and make sure that people know you're not trying to be rude, you will get your point across. And to those girls, I know I've said sorry like a million times, but I'm sorry. I love you both. :D That's another classy thing. Saying sorry after you mess up. :D Keep it classy ladies!

How to deal with a notsoclassy girl at work. [it's been so long! sorry!]

Hello Classy Girls!

First of all I want to apologize for not writing! It's been so long and I am SO sorry that I haven't even given you all the time of day. So hey, hope you're all keeping it super classy. ;)

So on to the title of my blog. How to deal with a notsoclassy girl at work. Now I must tell you I definitely work with one of these AND LET ME TELL YOU IT'S NOT FUN. It is for sure one of the most stupid and uncalled for things in my life, however you have to remember, classy girls are always at peace.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely have my moments, however there comes a time when you are allowed to lose your cool, and then there comes a time when you just have to take it on the chin. Let me tell you, work is most certainly not the place to lose your cool. On to my story about the notsoclassy girl.
Let me start by saying she consistantly reeks. She smokes AND drinks coffee and makes a conscious effort to be in EVERYONE'S face. There is a simple fix to that. OFFER HER A BREATHMINT. LOL. This girl is always up in my face talking some major stuff and I just politely ask her if she wants a piece of gum, and let me say SHE ALWAYS SAYS YES! hahahaha.
Anywho secondly, she's a bitch. Forgive my language, but that's really the only way I can put into words how she acts towards everyone. Now, I am in no way condoning calling everyone who irks your nerves the b-word, so please don't think that. Remember: Classy girls only swear when the time is right. :D Anywho, she is always talking down to someone about something and there comes a time when you just have to say enough is enough. Today in fact, she snapped at me for the simple question of "are you coming to the meeting we have". I just smiled and said "I am a person, not a dog, please don't talk to me like one". People were so impressed that I didn't backhand her like the unclassy girl in me wanted to do.
Third...she's the office gossip. She always has something negative to say about someone and well, we've already discussed how classy girls deal with gossip, however I will address it again. Gossip is most certainly not for classy girls. Therefore if you ever deal with someone who likes to gossip, simply tell them that you don't like talking about anyone because you would rather your name stay out of any drama that might ensue from the bad mouthing. Let me tell you, it works every single time.

So there you have it ladies. Breathmints, kind words, and a little bit of smiles goes a long way with a notsoclassy girl. I promise you that it will have a lasting effect on EVERYONE.

Now that I have written a small novel, I just want to extend congratulations to my fellow writer and period fairy blogger: JESSIE PRATLEY. She got engaged a few days ago, and we are soooo happy for her. Especially since Gary should have done it a while ago. ;) Just kidding Garebaby. Except only a little bit. HAHAHA. Congrats baby. I love you!

I am going to try to start doing these again. Look for them every friday! :)
And as usual, if you ever wanna write for classy girls, just email me. <3 heavansetler@gmail.com

Keep your heads held high, and that class shining.

--Heavan

Chivalry is only dead because we allow it to be.

Hello Fellow Classy Girls!

SO sorry I have not written a classy girls in a while. Between being super sick, and finals, and switching jobs, I have no life! Haha, but alas, this classy girl is back for the time being.

Anywho, I’d like to talk about something that has really been bugging me for a while. You classy girls are really starting to make me feel not so good. “But why Heavan” is all I can hear. Well ladies, here’s why:

Lately I feel like women in general are not being treated like they deserve by men. Ladies, you are all princesses, it’s time to start acting like them. My very first classy girls blog was a few notes about how to be a classy lady. Did you forget this?
Men are designed to take care of us ladies, so WE SHOULD LET THEM. Don’t get me wrong I am all about girl power. I know you all are independent. But there comes a point in time when you have to exert your independence elsewhere.
FOR EXAMPLE: The other day I was out with a guy friend of mine and he reached for his wallet to pay for my coffee. Immediately I said “no, it’s okay, don’t worry about it” and after talking back and forth for about 5 minutes, I finally caved and let him pay for it. Why? Because he wanted to. Because he felt like he had to take care of something as simple as a coffee in order to make me feel good.
In this day and age, we are hard wired into thinking that this is a man AND a woman’s world, therefore we should all work separately because that’s how it should be. Well, ladies…forget that garbage.
Now, I’m not saying you should DEMAND that guys pay for things, or hold doors open for you, or anything. That is actually far from what I’m saying. I’m telling you that if a guy wants to take care of you, FREAKING LET HIM TAKE CARE OF YOU. There is nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t show you’re weak, or dependent on the opposite sex to get you by. It shows that you are respectful. That you want people to treat you like that. That you respect another man for treating you like that, therefore other men will see that and actually fight for your respect. (Don’t even act like it’s not true ladies. You all know that it is. :D)
Chivalry is only dead because we allow it to be. We think that we have to be these big tough women who take care of themselves and act like our stuff don’t stink. Well, if it looks like poop, smells like poop, it’s probably poop right? STOP ACTING LIKE POOP.

That’s my rant for the week. Remember that you should always always ALWAYS keep it classy.

Bullying, State Legislation, and how THIS classy girl is going to change things.

Hello classy girls!

What an interesting week this has been for me. And by that, I really mean this passed few days, but hey we'll go with the week. ;)
I'm not sure if many of you follow the news; (you should start if you don't.) but on Thursday November 3rd, the Michigan Senate passed a legislation regarding anti-bullying. This bill has many valid points, however there was a very large hole left in a section of it. Now I'm just paraphrasing this section, but essentially it says that if someone can justify their bullying based on religion or moral convictions, then the State will support them. You can preview the bill here
Now, let me ask you classy girls, is this alright? I would hope that you all say no, because we all know bullying is wrong no matter what the circumstance. As a victim of bullying, I am doing everything in my power to stop this bill from turning into a law. Just in this passed week, I have been on my local news station, and have started a petition to stop this. This bill is a joke, and action needs to be taken.
Currently I have 302 signatures on my petition, and this number seems to be growing rapidly. I'm asking all of you classy girls to help me out. Be a voice in this change. You can view the petition here.

This is something I'm really passionate about. I can only hope you classy girls will help me. Remember that a classy girl never gives up, and that's exactly what I'm doing. I won't go down without a fight.

Keep it classy AND sassy ladies! Until next week!